Rather than just a legal process, divorce litigation involves emotional, financial, and personal challenges. People often feel overwhelmed and, because of this, can make decisions that may increase costs and delay their case for months or even years.
To help you protect your finances, rights, and your children’s well-being, this article will outline the top five mistakes people make during divorce litigation in New Mexico and how to avoid each of them.
1. Letting Emotions Drive Decisions
Hurt, anger, and resentment are emotions that often run high during divorce litigation in New Mexico. During a divorce or separation, each party must make decisions about their future including their finances, living arrangements, care for their children, and many others. It can be incredibly challenging to make these kinds of decisions while processing the deeply intense feelings of the separation itself. Working through those emotions is a process that takes time that often outlives the divorce process.
Sometimes people want to impose monetary punishment on their spouse to “right” the emotional wrongs they feel have been committed against them. However, it is important to understand that the laws of divorce in New Mexico do not offer such remedies as New Mexico is considered a no-fault state. For example, if a marriage ends because one person cheated on their spouse, there are no advantages for the spouse who was cheated on in the divorce, and it is not a factor that the courts would consider when distributing the parties’ assets and debts.
How to Avoid This Mistake
The solution is simple, but not easy: separate your feelings for the other party from your decisions in the divorce. When people are hung up on making their ex pay for the hurt they have caused, they lose focus on successful litigation strategy in their case. Remind yourself that every decision you make now impacts your life post-divorce, and rely on your family law attorney for objective guidance when it comes to your choices about settlement options. It is your attorney’s job to ensure your long-term goals and needs are met. Remember, there is a cost versus benefit analysis that must be considered with every course of action, and being driven by emotions can become incredibly costly (both monetarily and emotionally).
Seek emotional support from professionals, including psychologists and counselors, to learn how to process your emotions rather than make emotional divorce decisions that may not be in your best interest.
2. Trying to Hide Money and Assets
It is not uncommon for people to attempt to hide money or assets, or simply fail to disclose them. Doing this, however, can be incredibly damaging to your credibility in front of a Judge. New Mexico follows community property laws, and judges take financial transparency very seriously. Each party in a divorce has an obligation to be transparent in financial discovery. Leaving bank accounts, properties, businesses and other valuables out of personally verified information can result in significant penalties, some of which include your spouse receiving a larger share of the asset, paying attorney fees and costs for both parties, or even criminal charges in some instances.
Realistically, it is very difficult to successfully retain hidden assets from being discovered, especially in today’s legal and technological landscape.
How to Avoid This Mistake
Avoiding this mistake is simple. Be 100% transparent from the beginning and produce all requested information in your possession. Successful negotiation and litigation strategies from an experienced family law attorney will be much more successful in securing your best-case outcome in a divorce or separation.
3. Ignoring Your Children’s Needs
Sometimes, parents going through divorce litigation in New Mexico can become so focused on winning against each other that they forget about it affects the ones who are caught in the middle of the conflict: their children.
The emotional impact of a divorce or separation has a significant effect on children, and prioritizing their well-being throughout the process should remain a top focus.
How to Avoid This Mistake
Shield your children from conflict by ensuring communications with your ex are respectful and professional. Disparaging your spouse in front of or to them, or having heated conversations in earshot of your children, puts them in an incredibly uncomfortable and confusing position. Maintaining stability by creating a consistent routine and schedule can help them navigate the other changes they must face as a result of the separation. Talk with your attorney about how best to protect children’s needs and interests. Last but not least, the help of a professional, like a therapist, can give your child an outlet to process the separation in the healthiest way possible.
4. Lack of Documentation
A divorce process necessitates the production of voluminous financial documentation. To put it plainly, you can’t reach an all-encompassing and fair settlement if you don’t have all of the information just like you can’t solve a puzzle without all of the pieces. It is crucial to have clear records to prove separate property or inheritance claims. Additionally, it can become costly if subpoenas have to be issued to institutions to obtain the records that are needed.
How to Avoid This Mistake
The best option to avoid this mistake is to start gathering and organizing all the requested documents as soon as you initiate the divorce process. Create checklists, files, folders, keep copies of communications with your spouse, retain pictures of valuable items (jewelry, collectibles, art), and store everything in an organized fashion. Many financials can be obtained easily online directly from the institution, such as bank account records and utility bills. It is important to gather everything you can access that has been requested by your family law attorney, even if it seems unnecessary, as there is a reason the documents are needed.
5. Not Consulting with a Family Attorney
It may seem like not seeking legal counsel can save money when it comes to a divorce or separation. However, this can be a costly mistake and it is important to consult with an attorney about your rights and the legal process even if you don’t pursue legal representation for your entire case.
There are many issues that can arise if certain procedures are not completed as part of a divorce process. For example, if a retirement account is divided in a divorce and an applicable order dividing the account is not submitted to the plan administrator by their deadline, it can result in the inability of the account to be divided. If something like this happens, you may need to hire legal counsel to pursue an alternate settlement arrangement, which can quickly become costly, especially if litigation ensues.
A legal process like divorce is best navigated with the help of a trained professional who specializes in local rules and statutes, courtroom practices, negotiation skills, and the ability to prepare solid agreements that ensure all of your interests are addressed and protected. Without legal guidance, you may underestimate costs, agree to unfair settlements, or miss important deadlines that could have serious and long-term implications.
How to Avoid This Mistake
Consult with an experienced family lawyer in Albuquerque who understands divorce litigation in New Mexico. Doing so is an investment in your future and your peace of mind. The team at Terry & deGraauw, P.C. are seasoned family law specialists who can help you approach a simple, uncontested divorce, or represent you through a complicated divorce or separation. Contact us today and book a consultation to discuss your case with one of our family law specialists.
