Divorce is a uniquely challenging life event, usually accompanied by emotional and logistical complexities, as couples transition from a shared life into a new normal post-separation. However, it is possible to proceed through the challenges of a divorce amicably. An amicable divorce (where both parties agree to work together respectfully and cooperatively) can significantly lower stress levels and assist in a smoother transition for everyone involved. Here are some tips to help you achieve a peaceful separation:
- Choose Representation: Attorneys are an incredible resource for uncontested or amicable divorces. Contrary to popular belief, hiring a divorce lawyer does not mean you are choosing an adversarial path forward. Attorneys have specialized education and training on the laws and statutes that will affect your case, coupled with real-world experience in crafting agreements that satisfy the unique needs of each case and client. They can also ensure that you complete all legal requirements to effectuate your separation and divide assets, and ensure no steps are missed that would have a significant and negative impact on your future. Make sure the attorney you hire understands your goal of an amicable separation and approaches your case accordingly.
- Open Communication: Effective communication is the cornerstone of an amicable divorce. Both parties should strive to communicate openly and honestly, expressing their needs and concerns without hostility. Setting ground rules for respectful dialogue can help prevent misunderstandings and reduce conflict. If one or both parties are represented by counsel, legal correspondence can be handled respectfully by professionals who are aligned with your goals. Emotions run incredibly high during a divorce or separation. In any separation, conflict will be present. In an amicable divorce, it is important to focus on how you will resolve the conflict or problem at hand, rather than focus on hurt feelings or past events. Amicable separations are solution focused.
- Prioritize the Children: If children are involved, their well-being should be the top priority. Work together to create stable and supportive environments in both households. Co-parenting agreements can help define responsibilities and ensure that each parent remains actively involved in their child or children’s lives.
- Consider Mediation: Mediation is an efficient and beneficial way to approach an amicable divorce. A neutral mediator helps facilitate discussions and guides parties toward mutually acceptable agreements on various issues such as property division, child custody, and support arrangements. Mediation typically requires substantially less time and money than a traditional litigated approach. Learn more about mediated and collaborative divorces here.
- Stay Organized: Keep detailed records of all your communications, agreements, and financial transactions. Staying organized can help prevent disputes and misunderstandings. It also ensures that all aspects of the divorce process are addressed systematically and minimizes unnecessary back and forth.
- Take Care of Yourself: Divorce can be emotionally draining. Make sure to take care of your mental and physical health. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist, but do not utilize your children to vent about the separation. Taking time for self-care can help you stay calm and focused during the process.
- Plan for the Future: Consider the long-term implications of your decisions. Your goal should be to work toward agreements that will be sustainable and beneficial in the long run. Planning for the future can help both parties move forward positively after the divorce is finalized.
By implementing these tips, you can work towards an amicable divorce that minimizes conflict and fosters a cooperative spirit, protecting your wellbeing and your children’s wellbeing after the separation. A peaceful separation is not only possible but paves the way for a healthier and more positive future for everyone involved.
If you need assistance navigating your divorce or separation, our experienced family law attorneys are here to help. Contact us to schedule a consultation and learn more about how we can support you through this transition.
Kelly Squires, Managing Director of Terry & deGraauw, P.C. October 2024
